We make our own rules

If you have too many children and live in a shoe

→ You might be a redneck.

If you have a chicken leg

→ Let it go, why are you holding that chicken’s leg. you weirdo.

Making others smile is sometimes the key to your own happiness

remember when this was a thing

The best way to get into a girls heart….

→ is joining the fandom she’s in.

Happiness is telling someone you’ll do it tomorrow….

→ and knowing tomorrow never comes.

(Source: jottpeo)

Your kitten plans to kill you in your sleep…

→ Good night C:

You’re walking in the woods.
There’s no one around and your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him…

→ Shia LaBeouf

Heads up. If you watch Lesbian porn, you support gay rights.

→ Because you can’t jack off and expect it wont just be ripped off, chopped off and throw into the bushes.